Songs of Experience
by choose joy xox
Summary: "He had a distinct impression that there had been a massive shift in their thought process as far as A was concerned. The only thing that he knew for sure was that they were innocent no longer." What would happen if Toby was a part of the group that finds the girls after they escape Charles? Post 5B.


**I know that I have other stories to update, but this kind of just happened. Whoops.**

 **This takes place in 6x01ish, I suppose. Shortly after the girls escape the lair. OKay review! I'm getting ready to move in two weeks and I'm a bundle of stress. Reviews will help! :)**

 **I probably won't add anymore to this unless I'm inspired. Just saying. I don't like writing multi-chapter stories that follow what's going on in the show. I get annoyed when they aren't canon any longer lol.**

TPOV

The twigs and branches snagged at his face, but he barely felt them. All he could think about was her. He had to get to her. He was so glad that he had been in the middle of the shift when they finally pinpointed their location, because he was absolutely certain that Tanner wouldn't have called him in if he hadn't already been there. He couldn't bear to leave this to anyone else. He didn't _trust_ anyone else with her. Not now.

A part of him wondered if this was what she felt like as she ran through the woods that day last November. The anxiety would have been enough to send him to his knees if he weren't so streamlined in his focus. And if he saw the one who did this to her, who took her, he was absolutely certain that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from doing things that he had never once imagined doing to another human being. And he wouldn't regret it at all.

 _Signs of a struggle near an opening in the fence southwest of the starting point._

He stumbled to a stop at the scratchy sound of a voice over the radio on his shoulder. He didn't have to think about turning around. His feet did that on their own. It was like every part of his body called for Spencer. They were like the opposite ends of a magnet, really. He never felt complete or whole when he was without her.

Was he going to cry or scream? Did he want to hold her and never let her go or did he want to annihilate anything and everything that had ever threatened her? He didn't know, and that thought genuinely terrified him. But what he was certain of was that he was absolutely clear on the lengths that he would go to to keep her safe. He would unapologetically do whatever it took. There were no limits.

But hopefully it didn't come to that.

Maybe he should have slowed as he approached the voices, but the thought barely registered in his mind as he barreled through the treeline. He scarcely missed running into one of his co-workers.

The man looked at him hesitantly and held up a cautioning hand. "Cavanaugh, you should hold on."

" _Why?"_ Tomorrow he would have to consider apologizing to this kid, the only cop on the force the was greener than he was, for the angry growl that slipped between his clenched teeth.

He glanced over his shoulder at a grouping of shadows off in the distance. "They told me to keep you back here until they could finish-"

He didn't even wait for him to finish before shoving past him. Before he couldn't move fast enough, but now he dragged his feet. He was terrified of what he might find. They had the video recordings they found at the Campbell Farm. Spencer was alive and alright at some point, but he had no proof that that had lasted for any particular length of time. Who would he be without her? _Where_ would he be without her? What if-

But he didn't let himself go there. He shook his head, expelling those thoughts from his mind. He hesitated just outside of the circle of cops, and he nearly fell to his knees at the sight of Hanna's blonde head peeking out from the top of one of the overly scratchy blankets that they handed to victims. Something more comfortable would probably be more beneficial.

Hanna glanced at something to her right, giving him a clear view of her face. It was shocked, but her eyes were dry. He followed her gaze and his eyes snapped shut as he saw Aria's slight frame. Her hair was different, a pink streak near her right cheek. It didn't make sense to him, but it was still her.

He was grateful that they were okay, but he wanted Spencer. He _needed_ Spencer. He needed to hold her and touch her and he just needed to see that she was alright. He needed to feel her heart beat and he needed to see the rise and the fall of her chest. He needed to see that she was okay.

"Officer Cavanaugh, you shouldn't be here."

He really didn't like Tanner. When he first joined the force he respected her. But now he was starting to wonder if the water in Rosewood was contaminated by something that made adults act like absolute imbeciles. He would never forgive her for the bias, sloppy manner in which she ran this investigation. If she had done her job they could have prevented this. "Probably not," he agreed. He could hear the anger in the tension in his voice. Usually he would cringe and apologize, but maybe she would tell him what he needed to know if she understood that nothing was going to stop him.

Tanner sighed profoundly. "She's over there." She gestured with her head and walked off before he could move.

She didn't have to tell him twice. He turned, and he didn't have to see anymore than her lithe frame in the dark shadows of the looming trees to know it was her. She didn't have a blanket and he didn't like that. She was undoubtedly cold. "Spencer," he breathed, practically stumbling to her. He couldn't remember how to work his own two feet. It felt like he was breathing for the first time since she went missing. He hadn't seen her since his passionate apology and their tearful reunion. It felt like a lifetime ago, but in reality it had only been a couple days. He could breath again. He could feel his stony heart beating.

" _Spencer,"_ he said, his voice cracking.

This time she heard him. She turned around, and he didn't have to be any closer to see how unsteady she was. He took a final step forward and wrapped a solid arm around her waist, bringing her against the safety of his chest. He shrugged out of his heavy police jacket and wrapped it around her trembling shoulders; and whether her tremors were from fear or the pervasive cold he wasn't sure. But it didn't matter. He had her and he was never letting her go again. He would take her and drag her to Antarctica if that's what it took. He was never going to leave her vulnerable again. For the first time he was finally getting a glimpse of what she felt last November, and it was the worst thing that he had ever experienced. The thought of losing her was accompanied by a sense of all-consuming anguish that he could do nothing to expel. The only thing that made it better was that she was back in his arms.

"Toby," she sobbed into his shoulder. He could feel the rapid beating of her heart against the lips he had pressed to her neck.

"Shh." She didn't have to be quiet, but she did have to calm down. "I'm right here. I've got you."

She shook her head fiercely, craning her neck back so that she could look into his eyes. They were bloodshot and tear filled. The ghost of a bruise on her right cheek caused a flair up of the anger that had gone latent at her touch. "No," Spencer cried. "No, I have- You deserve to know. I told myself that if I got out of this no more secrets, and-" She cut herself off, her tears too thick for her to talk through.

"It doesn't matter," he murmured, looking at her intently. Nothing mattered enough if it was going to inspire this kind of reaction in her.

She jerked away, their bodies not touching at all. But she glanced down and grabbed both of his hands. Two feet separated them. She was full on sobbing now, tears rocking her body. "I k-kissed people. Two people, and I'm sorry. I'm _so sorry._ "

"Shhh," he quieted her again. This was her breaking news? Hadn't she already told him this. Maybe they didn't use the exact words, but they never did, really. They just always knew. "I know, Spence. You all but painted a flashing billboard about Melissa's roommate," he said softly. "And the other one was Johnny, right?" He wasn't going to tell her, but that one stung. Johnny seemed kind of perfect for her in all the ways that he was exactly wrong. He would have been the healthy choice for her.

"Johnny kissed me," she clarified. "but I didn't push him away."

"Spencer we don't-"

She interrupted him.. "I have too. I have to tell you. I should have told you the second you came over, but I was just so happy that you wanted to be with me again."

He could see how torn she was. She wanted him to yell at her, but she always wanted him to forgive her. But it wasn't a choice for him at all. "Spencer," he breathed, stepping forward and taking a hand back to slide over her hair. "Do you think that matters to me anymore? I get why you did it." He drew her in closer, pressing his lips to the top of her head. "The fact that you're okay is all that I'm concerned with."

She hesitated, searching his eyes. "Are you lying?"

This time he laughed, because that was so like her. It was so like her to push and prod for the truth, and to not believe that someone sincerely loved her enough to look past her mistakes. Whatever she went through in that bunker, whatever A had done to her, he hadn't taken away who she was. "I love you," he whispered fiercely, pulling her back into his arms. "I love you, and I can't think of a single thing that you could do that would change that. Yeah, I'm not thrilled about the idea of you giving pieces of yourself to another guy, but I know that I all but drove you to it. But none of that matters right now, Spence. Because you're okay.. _You're okay."_

She started rigid, but as he talked she melted into him, leaning into his embrace. She was crying again, her breathing coming out in short, shuddering gasps. "Spence," he whispered into her hair. "You're safe. I've got you, and I'm not going to let anything hurt you."

"Miss Hastings, we really need to begin your interview."

They both jumped at the intruding voice. "Not now," he answered for her, knowing that it would cause the little feminist inside of her to throw a fit. But he didn't care at all right now.

"Cavanaugh," the guy tried, all the false kindness gone from his voice.

" **Not now,"** he snapped. So much of the world mistake his genuine attempts at kindness and humility for weakness. But they would learn quickly that he was anything but weak when it came to Spencer.

He only relaxed when he could hear his heavy footsteps tromping away. Spencer shivered and leaned deeper into him. "Thank you," she whispered into his chest.

"Are you okay?" He finally asked the question that he really need answered. "Physically, mentally, whatever. Are you alright?"

"I'm not hurt," was all she offered. "We're all mostly fine. Em sprained her ankle when we were running, which is why we didn't get too far. And Mona..."

"I know she's alive," he interjected quickly. He didn't want to make her explain anything she didn't have to. "We saw a video at the Campbell Farm of you guys around some board game."

Spencer nodded. "Well, we had to leave her behind. I didn't want too, but it was the only chance we were going to get to escape. And now we know-" she stopped and jerked her head back to look at him. "Did you say the Campbell Farm? As in _Andrew_?"

He nodded. "Yeah. We haven't been able to talk to him yet."

"So essentially my drug dealing, study buddy might be the one who has been torturing us for all of these years?"

It was good that she was able to keep her humor. "Probably not. I kind of hate him but he also seems fairly harmless."

She snorted. "So does an icicle until it breaks off and stabs you in the head."

He ran his hands down her shoulders. "Are you sure that you're okay, Spencer?"

She didn't answer for awhile. "Physically I'm fine. I have a few bumps and bruises, but nothing that I can't pull through. Mentally, though? Not by a long shot. I just-" she shook her head. "I don't think that I'm ever going to feel safe again."

He closed his eyes for a second, searching through the long sleeves of his jacket to find her hands. "I don't care if I have to shadow you for the next ten years. You'll probably get so sick of me, because I'm never going to give A the opportunity to do this to you again."

She smiled softly. "That's never going to happen."

She sounded confident, but she was still shaking. "What do you need?" He whispered. He would throw her over his shoulder and carrying her to Canada if she asked him to.

"I have never been more sure that we have got to find a way to end this game. The stakes are too high, and Charles is getting angry." She sounded scared, and he hated it. Maybe Canada wasn't such a bad idea.

"Charles?" That was the first thing that he didn't understand.

She kind of smiled and leaned in, wrapping both of her arms around his neck in one of their typical hugs. "Thank you."

"For what?" He ran a gentle hand up and down her spine. He would do whatever he could do to make her feel safe, even if it was impossible.

"Just for being here. I'm scared, but you make it better.

There would probably be no end to her saying things that caused his knees to go weak. Being loved by her was the greatest privilege in his life. "I love you," he murmured. "Are you okay to see what's going on with everyone else?"

She nodded into his neck. "Just don't let me go, okay?"

He wasn't sure that he could even if he tried. "I've got you," he said softly. He wrapped an arm securely around her and led her over to her friends and his coworkers.

Hanna looked stressed, glancing at the bunker. "What do you mean you can't get in? Literally you all are the most useless people. He could be _killing_ her right now."

Tanner gave Hanna her trademark, condescending smile. He was more tempted to hit a woman than he ever had been in his life. "Ms. Marin. This individual has had Mona for months. If they were going to kill her they likely would have done it by now."

"Nothing's changed?" Spencer asked incredulously. "He had us and we're gone now. We didn't see his face, but we have what we need. We're going to find him, and that makes Mona expendable."

Tanner nodded. "That is true, however-"

He was done listening as Spencer turned back into his chest. He tightened his arm around her shoulders and dragged his fingers through her silky hair, doing whatever he could do to comfort her. "You're okay," he said quietly. "You're fine."

"We shouldn't have left her," Spencer mumbled. Her words were muffled, but he understood her.

"This isn't your fault," he whispered fiercely. She had more than enough to worry about without shouldering needless guilt. "You did what you had to do to get you and your friends out of there. And we'll get her out, it might just take a minute."

"Toby?"

He glanced up, meeting eyes with Hanna. She looked more hesitant than usual. "Is Caleb okay?"

He genuinely laughed for the first time in a few days. When he saw that Tanner was no longer paying attention he answered her. "He about got himself arrested for hacking into the city's traffic camera's. But Spencer's parents went super hero lawyer and got him actual access. He showed all the cops up and actually found the van you guys were in."

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "He's an idiot."

He took his phone from his pocket and glanced at it. "I don't have much service. But you can try to text him if you want."

She gave him a grateful smile. "I know we were kind of asshole-ish to you about becoming a cop, but I'm glad you're here. You're the only one of these idiots that's on our side, so that's nice."

He knew he wasn't going to be able to stay a cop for long, but that was the height of praise from Hanna Marin, someone that had gone from hating his guts to being one of his closest friends in just two years. And he would do what it took to help her.

Tanner came back and he groaned internally. She was like a rash he couldn't get rid of. "Okay ladies, are we ready to get going? We'll have to walk a bit, but there are ambulances as far as they could make it."

Spencer cringed, and he knew why. She didn't like the hospital, but she needed to get checked out. "You'll be okay," he reassured her. "It'll be quick and then we'll go hole yourself up in your room and never leave. Or we can clean out our bank accounts and run away to London. Whatever you need."

She shook her head. "I don't want to run," she said only to him. "We have to fight. It's the only way that we're going to end this. We've spent so long just hoping that it would all end, that A would just get bored. That's not going to happen. We have to be proactive, and we have to end this. We're _going_ to end this. I'm so ready to feel safe, _**free.**_ "

She was the strongest person that he knew. He brushed a kiss over her temple and led her toward the train of people ducking into the treeline. He had a distinct impression that there had been a massive shift in their thought process as far as A was concerned. Things were going to be different now, and he wasn't sure if it was for the better. The only thing that he knew for sure was that they were innocent no longer.


End file.
